Just Do You. . .

So many people are desperate to be loved, but not many people are desperate to love themselves. Let's be real no one wants to be alone. But there's something valuable about a person who chooses themselves and goes on a journey of self discovery.

There are so many distractions in the world and sometimes being involved with people romantically takes up a lot of your time and bandwidth. Relationships these days are not perfect. Standards and roles have changed since the 1950's 70's and 90's. We are now in the 20's of the new millennium and the post pandemic era. . .

So what does that mean for dating?

Falling in love?

Having a healthy relationship?

I don't know!!!!!!

But I can only offer my advice from my experiences that have changed me for the better. Some people choose to remain bitter about what they've experienced. I have made the choice to be better and do better. Here's 5 principles that both men and women should be using and thinking about before entering in new relationships.

Rule #1

What you see is what you get!

Too often we make the mistake of seeing the potential of the person and not who the person is in front of us. See that person for who they are not what they say they want to be.

Rule#2

Actions Speak Louder than Words

The world is full of master manipulators. I've dealt with my fair share of them and they all have one thing in common. They often promise more than they can produce! Many people are good at convincing with their words but not with their actions.

Rule #3

You Can't Change Anyone

Most people are who they are when you meet them. We all come with different types of baggage and scars that make us into who we are at this very moment. Believing that you can change someone is wishful thinking. You have no control over how or when someone decides to change so don't lose your mind trying to change anyone!

Rule #4

There is No such Thing As A Perfect Partner

You can search high and low for the idea of perfection in another flawed human but I wouldn't recommend it. No one walking this earth is perfect and if they claim to be ask them what's the secret because we want in on it. Expecting perfection in another person is a recipe for disappointment.

Rule #5

To be in Love is To Be of Service

Many of us get into relationships without remembering that love is often a selfless agenda. To love is to serve your partner through hardships and adversity without compromising your self worth or you DREAMS!!!!

If there's one thing I learned it's having strong boundaries and letting those boundaries be felt, seen, and heard even if it makes the other person uncomfortable. Too often we make exceptions and excuses for people we like and love when they cross our boundaries. Do not do this! Set firm boundaries in the beginning and if the person tries convince you against your boundaries then they are not for you.

Be smart with your heart! Don't let anyone convince you that you deserve less. If they can't meet your requests, they are not meant to be in your life.

Thank you, Next!

Love,

Tasleem